


i don't need daydreams in the present tense

by earlymorningechoes



Series: nataliya lavellan: trying to bloom in snow [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, F/F, Falling In Love, Hugs, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7551322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlymorningechoes/pseuds/earlymorningechoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>she loves me, she loves me not.</i> Everyone else has Nataliya and Josephine figured out long before they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't need daydreams in the present tense

    Nataliya is in the tent she shares with Cassandra and Sera, laboring over a letter, when Cassandra herself comes in through the flap. She takes one look at the ink-splotched paper, covered in Nataliya's chicken-scratch handwriting, and smiles.

    “You do love her, don't you?” she asks, not really questioning. Nataliya looks chagrined for a moment, opening her mouth to say she doesn't know what Cassandra means, but the Seeker shakes her head.

    “It's good,” she says, “for you and for Josephine. You’re both happier.” Crawling over to her own bedroll, she pulls out a small leather-bound book, and looks back up to find Nataliya watching with dancing eyes. Making an affronted noise in the back of her throat, she turns away, opening her book and pretending to wholly ignore the Inquisitor. Laughing, Nataliya turns back to her letter, trying in vain to keep from getting more ink on the paper or her hands. She isn't ready to think about what Cassandra said, but she does want to finish the letter so Scout Harding can send it back to Skyhold.

\---------

    “Arl Ruahn...” Josephine mumbles, tracing her fingers over a mostly-full seating chart for the upcoming dinner to prove to a handful of nobles that the Inquisition isn't just squandering their money away (apparently the lack of Fade rifts and demons in the area isn't enough, she thinks sarcastically). Her fingers linger over Nataliya's name at the high table, with her own seat farther down, and sighs - the Inquisitor has been off in the Western Approach for quite some time with Cassandra, Sera, and the Iron Bull, and no one is sure when they'll return to Skyhold. She's so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't notice the door open and close gently.

    “Red and shining. Laughing, bright,” says a quiet voice. Josephine jumps, but Cole isn't done. “You were happy that night. You aren't happy now. Why?” He stands more still than she usually sees him as he waits for her answer, and she shakes her head.

    “It's a long story,” she says, hoping he’ll move on soon. His knowledge of people's thoughts makes her uncomfortable, and she’d prefer even this infernal seating chart to answering some of his questions.

    “Do you love her?” he asks abruptly. Speechless, she stands, wandering over to the fireplace and fussing with some of the items on the mantle. 

    “I…” she begins, turning back around to face him, and stopping when she realizes he's gone again. Sighing again and returning to her chair, her eyes linger again on Nataliya's name as she tries to put Cole’s questions out of her mind.

\---------

    Bouncing thoughts back and forth with Leliana is one of the few places where Nataliya is still sure of her competence, so when they're at Skyhold for more than a few hours, she often makes her way up to the rookery. They discuss this arl and that duke, these Venatori and that Chantry, and Nataliya feels more like herself and less like a figurehead.

    Their conversation drifts, and Leliana asks for stories from Nataliya's travels across Thedas, and how it is traveling with both Sera and Cassandra. Eventually she asks about Josephine, and Nataliya feels her whole countenance soften.

    “You should tell her, you know,” says the spymaster, the corners of her mouth quirking upward for a moment.

    “Tell her what?” Nataliya asks, unsure of how to respond. Leliana makes a disgusted noise deep in her throat, very reminiscent of Cassandra, before realizing that the Inquisitor really is unsure of what she's saying.

    “I had forgotten that you are also an innocent in love,” she says, and Nataliya's eyes widen as she blushes.

    “I...I…” she stammers, trying to work out how to respond. Leliana shakes her head, smiling, and goes back to talking about the most recent archery contest held at Skyhold. Nataliya follows her lead, gratefully letting the other woman dominate the conversation.

\---------

    Everyone left at Skyhold is on tenterhooks whenever the Inquisitor leaves, worrying about safety in her absence, even though the majority of the soldiers are still at the fortress. In hopes of trying to reassure people, Josephine finds herself agreeing to play a game of Wicked Grace with Varric and whoever else he can round up. When she makes her way into the tavern, she finds him seated with a handful of Bull’s Chargers, as well as Cole, Dorian, and some people she recognizes but can't place or name. Varric nods at her as she sits down.

    “Hey, Ruffles,” he says, shuffling a deck of cards and beginning to deal. Everyone picks up their cards, and one of the Chargers - Bull’s lieutenant, she thinks his name is Krem - groans theatrically. Laughing, she feels herself relax, and she lets herself get into the rhythm of the game.

    After, as everyone is leaving and congratulating her on her win - never bet against an Antivan - Varric puts his hand on her wrist, asking her to stay for a moment. She does, and when the others have left, he clears his throat.

    “How are you doing?” he asks, genuine concern in his voice. She's confused and opens her mouth to say as much, but he isn't finished. “How are you holding up with the Inquisitor gone?”

    Josephine sits still for a moment, trying to sort through her scattered thoughts. It's true that her thoughts drift to Nataliya often, and she finds herself half-hoping the elf will turn up around corners whenever she's gone. But she can't figure out if that means anything, not when everyone else is so anxious too. Even though she's pretty sure Nataliya hasn't kissed anyone else at Skyhold.

    “I don't know,” she replies honestly, shaking her head slightly. He gives her a knowing look, one she can't decipher, and stands to leave. She follows, even more confused, but unsure of what to ask to lessen the confusion.

\---------

    “A duel?” Blackwall asks, incredulous. Nataliya nods mutely, gesturing briefly with the wooden practice sword she holds. He sighs, picking up his own practice sword, and leads the way out of his tent. They make their way over to an empty spot behind the cluster of tents and stand at the ready, facing one another.

    He starts with a set form of slashes and blocks, one she and Cassandra had been working on every so often in the past few weeks. Her face glazes over with concentration, the same look he's seen when she works on Dalish pattern dances with her staff. Once they’re both good and warmed up, he waves her off, and she steps aside to grab a flask of water from someone who’s come to watch them spar.

    “Who are you dueling?” he asks as she comes back. Falling into her ready stance easily, she shrugs, her narrow shoulders hunching under her armor.

    “Lord Otranto, of Antiva City,” she says, trying and failing to look nonchalant. She raises her practice sword, but he doesn’t raise his to match her.

    “Antiva?” he asks pointedly, sounding very much like she assumes fathers do. She responds by poking him with the blunted tip of her sword, and he immediately falls to sparring gently with her, the question put aside but not forgotten.

\---------

    Nataliya can’t help thinking that this was one of her more scatterbrained ideas as she trades blows with Otranto, circling each other in the middle of Val Royeaux. It’s obvious to her and to everyone watching that he’s better than she is, but she’s not doing as badly as she expected, or apparently as badly as he expected either. She’s wondering who’s going to break the stalemate they’ve put themselves into when a flurry of motion catches her eye, and she turns her head to find someone very familiar running into the square.

    “Inquisitor!” cries Josephine, her hard-soled shoes cracking against the cobblestones. She stops short, wary of the rapier still in Nataliya’s hand, but her gestures are no less animated for the distance between them. Otranto tries to get her attention, but she ignores him completely.

    “What are you  _ doing _ ?” she demands, her voice echoing slightly. “Risking your life!” She looks almost ready to stamp her foot in anger, she's so riled, and Nataliya isn't sure whether to laugh or cower.

    “For you,” she says instead, waving her hand to encompass Otranto and their duel. Josephine looks shocked, but she doesn't back down.

    “That isn't your decision! I didn't ask you to do this!” She starts to pace, still ranting, but Nataliya drops the rapier and steps into her path.

    “I love you,” she says, turning red when her voice carries farther than she meant it to. She can feel Otranto’s eyes boring into her and hear the collective gasp of the crowd, but her focus is on Josephine, who's stopped dead.

    “You...what?” she stutters and stops to collect her thoughts. Before she can speak again, Nataliya is reaching for her hand and everything is confused again.

    “I love you so much, Josephine,” she says, not caring this time that she's unable to keep her voice quiet. Someone in the crowd starts to cheer, but they're quickly shushed, and Nataliya waits.

    “I…” Josephine starts, her voice shaky. She takes a deep breath and tries again. “I love you, too,” she says, and suddenly she’s in Nataliya’s arms, and the crowd is cheering again, but Lord Otranto is clearing his throat and she steps away, ever a diplomat. He lays down his rapier at her feet, and it rolls to settle against Nataliya’s, long forgotten. Josephine readies herself to explain, but he shakes his head and smiles, not unkindly.

    “There is more between you than I thought,” he says, nodding at their still-clasped hands. “I would not tangle with real love. I wish you both the best.” Leaning down, he picks up both rapiers and strides away, not glancing back even once. Both women are still for a moment, watching him go, and then Nataliya surprises Josephine by lifting her into the air and spinning her around. When she’s back on the ground, Josephine smiles softly, leaning in and kissing her girlfriend.

    “I love you,” she says again, unable to stop smiling, and all at once notices Cassandra, Sera, and Blackwall out on the fringes of the crowd. “I think everyone else knew, too.”


End file.
